


"hausfrau"

by Anonymous



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: 1960s, Gender Roles, Multi, Period-Typical Homophobia, Red Scare, Space Exploration, Undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: or, episodes from a mission in Rocketland USA, and the expectations put upon them there.Gaby is to play Napoleon's nice young bride. Napoleon is supposedly the German rocket scientistshecould probably fake reasonably well.Napoleon Solo, who is good at heists and fine society, assigned a technicalexpertrole, and what are we to do whenI'mthe one who can turn out cheese puffs and she, so good at mechanics, could live on unimpressive dump-everything-in soups?And Illya has to... well, pretend isn't the right word exactly, but he is a spy, not quite a revolutionary--don't let his once handlers know about it.





	"hausfrau"

**Author's Note:**

> this was, in fact, inspired by _The Astronaut Wives' Club_

"I do not understand why it was decided that _Napoleon_ should play this role," Illya groused at their handler, the two of them finding some sparse shade against the Texan sun in the shadow of the new house the movers were carrying boxes into, just so that Napoleon and Gabby could look the part. "_I_ look German enough."

Waverly hesitated. Illya had a point, and yet their contact had been adamant that Napoleon would play the improbable role (which he seemed so apt to mess up) of one-time German rocket scientist, Gabby his wife, and Ilya would carry out the second prong of the plan, baiting the local political club which was probably a nascent state Communist Party. That in particular, but really every little detail made this an _outlandish_ mission for the U.N.C.L.E. team, yet it was one they couldn't afford to fail on: they were being tested. "I don't disagree, but the hiring commission mandated that the candidate be an American citizen and _not_ a Communist." 

The Russian's lip curled. Illya did not seem to be all that adamant about Communist principles; to him it was probably as Russian as (per the idiom) apple pie and baseball were American, but he was not above denouncing it for the sake of a mission. "Cowboy is...less mechanically minded. Is not--how you say--a _man's man_."

"And you are?" Waverly scoffed, but politely. They were not, precisely, public about it, nor had they explicitly disclosed it to Alexander, but he knew full well that his spies' arrangements went beyond ..._sharing_ Gaby Teller.

"I can fake it better than Solo," Illya assured him, all bravado. 

They both paused, Waverly trying to think of something to say, but before either of them made a move to continue, Napoleon appeared behind Waverly and said, "_'Alea iacta est'_, Peril." 

"I don't like it. This _is_ rocket science, Cowboy." 

Napoleon eyed his partner. "I'll be wearing an earpiece, and a mic, Peril. Gaby will be advising me."

Illya, naturally, coming from the USSR, exhaled in exasperation "Well, why then does she not take the job?!" he fumed. 

Napoleon, to his credit, grimaced. "For the most part, women don't work on rockets, as far as the command center goes. It would be too obtrusive. Her job--if you can believe it, Peril, is to pretend to be a perfect little housewife."

"I--" Illya sized up Waverly before speaking. "Look, Cowboy, in most ways you do not meet the qualifications but I think you can hit perfect better on housewife stuff--not an insult, Solo--than our Gaby, and you would make a better fake American Communist than I."

"Don't I know it," Solo said nonchalantly. Alexander, who had once rather irritatingly fancied a boy, did not mind the notion that they could be queer, in whatever ways, but in the spy business one's druthers made no difference, and especially here they were expected to be careful of rocking the two-kids-and-a-picket-fence boat, a picture that seemed little applicable to the trio of spies.

"At least you're playing a scientist and not an astronaut," Alexander said after a moment. "I've heard the families have been under great pressure to live up to the eyes of a nation. There are scientists enough that the disguise doesn't need to stand up to close scrutiny."

"But I have to be buyable as a scientist," Napoleon mused. "That's going to be ...interesting."

"You'll need your good luck, _Amerikanecs_," Illya agreed. 

"Luck is what we'll all need," Waverly pronounced. "Solo, I was told you'd be wanted at their afternoon meeting--go ahead. We'll figure out how to make things look right with Gaby. And I need personnel reports, Kuryakin. Who is of what disposition and how much history of activism do they have?" The two exchanged a knowing look as they left him, and the handler reflected that this was not the best use of his excellent triad of instruments, but U.N.C.L.E. did not have alternatives here.


End file.
